You're Gonna Die.

@davidrocknyc

Its true, no matter what you try to do to avoid it, you’re gonna die. Your heart will stop beating and there is no more time left. Often we get sidetracked with our day to day living that we fail to acknowledge our own mortality and fail to live the lives we want. What holds us back? We are only here for a finite period of time and eventually our bones will perish from this planet.

Fear: There’s nothing to be afraid of, it’s not real. It’s something that you have created in your own mind. Challenge fear and overcome it and see how insignificant and irrational fear is. Start that business that you have been desperate to create. The fear that it wont be successful or you might fail isn’t real either, all that will be lost is money and that can always be re-earned. Quit that fucking toxic job that makes you miserable and brings out the absolute worst qualities in you. Your fear surrounding stepping out of your comfort zone and going into new areas may seem scary at first, but the rewards on the other side merits pushing through the fears. Growth comes from adversity and the pain of discomfort. Don’t fear that, embrace it. What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Regret: One of the most painful emotions that we experience is regret. How often do you speak to someone about something that they are deeply regretful about that you can literally see the pain in their eyes? The majority of regret comes from not taking action or risks. The “I wish” mentality, long after an opportunity has passed or we could have acted differently we still ponder on it with regret and sadness. Forgive yourself, even if you have lost the love of your life. Your life is not going to improve by self-loathing and wolowing in sadness. Let go, move on and allow your self to love again, free of the scars and boundaries you create for new relationships. You can be happy again, just need to allow yourself to feel it.  Carrying around emotional baggage of any kind is only going to continue to cause you pain.

Mistake like regret is toxic also. As humans we continue to pay for the same mistake over and over. Long after an event has taken place and the consequences either good or bad have occurred when revisited past failures, mistakes or hurtful feelings we regurgitate the feelings (consciously or not) and replay them over and over causing the same initial pain. True justice is only paying for the same mistake once, true injustice is paying over and over again. Have the courage to let go of your mistakes and to pay only once for errors.

Regret should drive the shit out of us, trying everything in our power to avoid it. The regret from failure pales in comparison to the empty feeling of not ever trying at all. Not trying brings feeling far worse than regret and that’s is a passionate pain of self-loathing. Take the chance and pursue every opportunity with vigor and gusto, when you’re dead you cant do shit about it. What have you got to lose?

Love:  The most important of all things in this world, start by loving yourself. Regardless of the mistakes you have made or your shortcomings, you are worthy of love. You’re unique and made the way you are so embrace that, don’t fight it. Be who you want to be and don’t let anybody influence your self worth regardless of how much you love and respect them. Attachment is by far the biggest danger to self-esteem and shouldn’t be present in healthy relationships, be proud of who you are. Love yourself enough to put the right fuel into your body, that goes for everything not just food. Surround yourself with people, situations and ideas that will spawn exciting and happy moments in your life. If you are stuck in a situation that doesn’t serve you, leave.

Love others passionately and without restraint, tell her how much you love her and why, regardless of the fear of rejection or scars from previous heartbreak. Tell her every time it crosses your mind, make it pass your lips and land on attentive ears. There is nothing more beautiful than expressing your unique love to someone and there is nothing shameful or embarrassing about it, particularly as a man. You’re ok all by yourself as well, nobody will complete your circle for you, aim to be the full circle first and try not to fit together just to feel whole, codependency is not an avenue for happiness.

Attention: Be present, put your phone in your pocket and look people in the eyes and smile. The greatest gift you can give somebody is your undivided attention. Not worrying about work or being somewhere else, just being present in the moment. There is no future or no past, just the present moment. What we put our attention on breaths, its what we bring life to. Listen instead of waiting for your turn to talk. There is nothing more amazing than contently listening and deeply connecting with a person. The whole world stops and feels like it’s spinning just for the people engaged. Speak truths, be honest and ask questions. Look at someone as if they are the only person in the world and see the world open up to you.

Passion: Always do your best. That’s all you can do. This goes for everything in your life, not only the things we enjoy. If you do your best you are immune to negative self-talk if things don’t turn out the way you want to. For gods sake relax though, don’t take yourself too seriously, you’ll never get out alive.

Do the things that you love and make you happy, even if nobody in the world understands why it makes you so. There is no shame in who you are and the passions that inspire you to experience or create. Ignoring your own intuition based on acceptance or approval from others is the biggest betrayal of your self-desire. The people that love and accept you for who you are will come along for the ride.

Action: Thoughts and ideas are amazing and exciting at first but writing lists and setting goals means shit if you don’t take action and actually start moving towards them. It can be a never-ending perpetual cycle of inaction and procrastination that can go on for years. Even to the point where people who believe in you lose respect for hearing the same story over and over again. Your word is the most important life trait and says a lot about who you are if you can’t keep it. Decide what you want, who you want to be and reverse engineer it.

Do things for your own reasons, you will never appease everyone and living to impress or appease other people, it will be a continuous loop of personal disappointment. Do the work, leave nothing in the tank. Everything you can control, do it and leave in all on the table. Start by starting. Go do. You end up hating yourself for how little action you take. Your self-esteem is aligned with your actions and is 100% in your control, there is no external excuse or victim mentality that you can blame for inaction.

Give and provide value without the expectation of receiving reciprocated appreciation. Trust in the process and don’t keep score, it will only lead to personal and professional animosity.

Gratitude: Be thankful, acknowledge it, life is such a wonderful gift. Projecting forward or backwards is the glue that keeps us stuck in ingratitude, be present and love in the moment. Be proud of yourself in some way, everybody has something inside of them that offers value to someone else. Tell the people you care about how you love them and are grateful to have them in your life. Chances are, they won’t be there forever, so cease the moment. Be grateful by not just existing, thrive to enhance your or somebody else’s life. Create something.

Whatever happens, good or bad from living without restraint and limits, in the end it wont matter. We all end up in the same place, 6 feet under after our 1 innings. Don’t wait to start actually living the life you want before it’s too late.

Play some shots, hope you ton up.

Big love,

Nath.